Sunday, January 18
Lol... Just realised that I haven't updated my blog for around a month or so since I last came back from Kuching, and yes, I'm fine ALREADY. (Look, it's been a month since, ok?) Fine, Chinese New Year's just around the corner, and it's gonna a brand new year, with brand new resolutions on slimming down, on not cutting lessons, and on really doing some real homework, and not just copying from the teacher (Don't ask me how I did that).
But I just realised one big important thing that I missed out on New Year. Nope, it's not the ba gua or the big rabbit milk sweet (translation: Da bai tu nai tang), it's just me. About changing myself. Throughout the whole year, I've been through ups and downs, rock bottoms even, but yes, I know I survived (at least I didn't jump down from the 72nd floor). And I'm finally 18.
Yep, the so-called mature age -- 18. The age of freedom... (love and peace... Sheesh.) Fine, the age of independance, to some, and the age of making most of the less important decisions yourself. And suddenly feeling yourself grow more mature. Mature? Yes, perhaps for me, it's the mental side, since I can never outgrow those Playstation games. But, yes, I did notice I've grown a lot, especially during my first year in Junior college, where I was placed in an environment I barely knew anyone, and how I had to adapt. I felt the loneliness all the time. Fortunately, I knew how to cope with it, and it did give some of the best highlights of last year.
I'm changed. In a way, not the physical sense, but in terms of my mentality, and probably my waistline. Ok, fine, bottomline -- I've changed. Perhaps for the better, and I am able to finally see all those mistakes I made throughout my whole life, some of which makes me cringe in embarassment. But it's just so I've gone through, and I'm never ever gonna exhume all those rotten experiences that I've buried behind me. I'm just gonna take in stride. See the future, and stop thinking about those ghosts of the past. It isn't worth it.
Take things in your stride. Don't bother looking too far, just far enough to let you see what you can aim for. Steady yourself as you reach for the year, just as it comes by, and stretch yourself to grab hold of its countless opportunities...
Posted by Isabelle at 8:28 pm